


Dawn of the (Not) Dead

by DeanCasGirl777



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel is Saved from the Empty (Supernatural), Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Found Family, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Series Finale Fix-It!, Their Little Family!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:06:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29799240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanCasGirl777/pseuds/DeanCasGirl777
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

It was deep into autumn of 2021, when Dean awoke from another nightmare in a cold sweat. He instinctively reached out for Cas to reassure him it was only a dream. Cas was there, peacefully sleeping, taking in soft, quiet breaths that Dean was relieved he could hear. He rested his hand lightly on Cas’ chest just long enough to feel his heart beating before pulling it back. Maybe Dean’s body had been still while he dreamt this time, if his mind was not. Maybe Cas had finally gotten used to Dean’s night thrashing and pained wails, and stayed asleep this time. Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to it.

Since Jack, Sam and he had found a way to deal with Chuck, balance had been restored, and the world put back. Everyone Chuck had snapped out of existence, Jack had resurrected. Jack said he wouldn’t be a hands-on God, but he wasn’t just going to leave Cas in the Empty. It had been Cas who’d been instrumental in instigating Heaven’s redesign, after all. It had been Cas who’d taught Jack about life, about family, about love.

Dean knew all of this logically. Sam was safe. He had Cas, here, beside him. Jack was back at home in the bunker, and Dean had seen him bring everyone back. Amara was watching over everything for now: Heaven, Earth, the universe, parallel universes. But there was something about the Empty taking Cas, it struck a chord in Dean, and continued to trigger these nightmares in him, even months later. 

The dream always began with Cas sacrificing himself to the Empty after telling Dean he loved him. Then Sam, Jack and he defeated Chuck. Jack became God. Dean got a dog. Cas was still gone. Those parts of the dream had really happened.

The dream picked up with a bittersweet music montage set to Running on Empty, and during that, Dean saw images of everyone they’d lost along the way. Jo. Ellen. Bobby. Kevin. Charlie. 

Then, as though nothing had changed, he and Sam went on to live a normal life in the bunker, taking cases when they came up. They had a dog Dean named Miracle. Dean even got to go to a pie eating contest. Sam pied him in the face, like the little bitch he was, but the pie he ate was delicious. It was pie. Things went really sideways from there.

Vamps kidnapped a couple of kids after killing their dad, and leaving their mom alive, but without her tongue. The vamps wanted to keep the kids to raise as their own. They wore the kind of creepy clown masks that you’d see in a Rob Zombie movie. Sam and he tracked them down, fought them hard, and knew the kids were safe, when Dean was impaled on a rogue piece of rebar, which was all the more horrible considering Dean felt like he knew his way around a vamp nest better than any monster site.

There had been a tearful goodbye to Sammy. Afterward, Dean went to Heaven where he got to have a bad beer with Bobby, and his father lived just down the road. In the meantime, Sam vacantly went on about his life with a blurry wife. The two had a kid in overalls with “Dean” obnoxiously emblazoned in bright yellow on his front pocket. There had been a photoshopped picture of Sam, Dean, and their parents front and center on the mantle. Sam got old and wore a bad wig before dying, then met Dean in Heaven.

If he stopped to think about it, the dream wasn’t all bad. The dog. The pie. The vamp-mimes. Even the highlight reel of Sam’s life. But the Empty taking Cas? That still scared the Hell out of Dean. Never getting to tell him how he felt, that he was loved? That shook him to his very core. Telling Sammy goodbye while they both ugly cried? Like a knife to the heart. Dying on a rusty nail? What the actual fuck! John fucking Winchester living right next door? Anger rose in his throat and his hands at the thought. Not seeing Cas again in Heaven? That killed Dean the most.

He knew the dream wasn’t like the PTSD visions of Hell he’d had for years after getting out, which were bad enough. The dream was bad in a different way. The two people he cared about most in the world were both dead, and it was like all the personal growth he’d done in the last 15 years didn’t matter. It just got thrown out. And not that he didn't still love Sam more than life itself, but he had reverted back to a toxically codependent relationship with Sam. All the feelings he had for Cas were just frozen with no place to go. Cas never knew how much he was loved. Dean never got to be ok with who he really was. Hell, he never got to realize who he really was.

Dean hated having this dream. He usually felt out of sorts the day after, and Cas could always tell. In the beginning, he would just say, “I know,” and grasp Dean’s hand, or draw him into a hug, letting him know he was there. He’d finally gotten Dean to talk about it one day. He made him keep talking about it after that to the point that Dean now can’t get on with his day unless he’s talked the dream, and his feelings about it, through with Cas first. Cas had become Dean’s counselor.

He turned over toward Cas, took in his sleepy serenity, and rested his hand over Cas’ heartbeat once again. He listened to his breaths, breathing with him to try and let the damn dream go. It had been getting better in the last few weeks, but Dean couldn’t wait until the dream just stopped all together.


	2. Chapter 2

The day Jack put everything back, he and Sam were standing on a street in Hastings, Minnesota. It was about a 600 mile drive back to the bunker in Lebanon, Kansas, the longest ten hours of Dean’s life, time spent in Hell included. 

There was something gentle but firm in the way Jack had explained that balance was restored. So, Dean wouldn’t let himself presume Cas would be waiting back at the bunker, although he secretly, selfishly hoped for it. He hadn’t dared to ask Jack to bring Cas back. He knew his life wasn’t any more important or deserving than anyone else’s they’d lost along the way. He expected nothing. 

Dean and Sam didn’t say a lot on the drive home. Miracle was sprawled out comfortably in the backseat, and tuckered out. Sam had fallen asleep a couple of hours in, leaving Dean to stew with fear and hope. The intense need to talk to Cas sat in the pit of Dean’s stomach, heavily, achingly. He kept replaying the scene of the thick, black sludge enveloping Cas over and over in his head. He was so pissed at Cas, but he also knew Cas believed he was doing what he thought was best for Dean. The funny thing was, Dean wasn’t as pissed at him for why he did it. He was more pissed about when he did it. Why hadn’t Cas told him this earlier? Why hadn’t Dean told Cas?

Dean knew he was a psychiatrist’s worst nightmare, but the beautiful words Cas had spoken to him, and then the “I love you” resonated with Dean, and instantly stirred something healing in him for a moment. But when the Empty took Cas, all the pain came rushing back cruelly, brutally.

Dean still hadn’t told Sam anything Cas said before the Empty took him. Sam still only had a vague understanding of why the Empty even took Cas. He knew there was something his brother wasn’t telling him, but he also knew when it was best to keep his mouth shut, and wait for Dean to bring it up. The thing about Dean and feelings though, meant that there was only a slim chance of Dean not shoving it down so far he never talked about it again. Still, Sam waited.

About six hours in, after a quick pit stop, Sam got a text. It was from Eileen. She was alive, and safe at her place. Sam let out a huge sigh of relief, and started to tear up. So did Dean. He reached over to Sam and patted his chest. Miracle popped up, and planted a sloppy dog kiss on Sam’s face before circling around in the backseat, and snuggling back in. A tiny smile crossed Dean’s lips as he looked out at the road ahead. Still, they didn’t say much to each other for the rest of the drive home.

When Dean finally pulled the Impala into the gravel patch outside of the bunker, it was almost 11 o’clock at night. The sky was clear. The stars were out. Miracle was chomping at the bit to check out his new digs. Both Dean and Sam were exhausted, and Dean’s nerves were shot. He was trying to keep himself calm by reminding himself if Cas wasn’t there, he would go on. But he didn’t want to go on without Cas. Round and round with his emotions he went. Like a bad joke on the side of a cereal box, it was a vicious circle. 

When he and Sam walked through the door into the bunker with Miracle, the library tables were lit dimly with amber lamps, but no one was at them. He hurried down the stairs, and walked toward the galley kitchen. He started to walk past the nook where he and Cas sat together sometimes, and stopped suddenly.

Cas was sprawled out in one of the comfy chairs in the library. His trench coat and suit jacket had been neatly arranged over the chair beside him. His sleeves were rolled up over crossed arms, and his feet were propped up on a captain’s chair he’d pulled out from the table. There was a hitch in Dean’s throat when he saw him. Cas’ head slumped over onto his right shoulder. He’d fallen asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean managed to calm himself down by staying focused on Cas’ breathing, but flashing back to the night he found out Cas was alive gave him butterflies all over again. He remembered everything about Cas from that night. How peaceful he’d seemed. The serene look on his face. How comfortable he’d appeared. The aura of contentment around him in the lamplight. How strong his forearms looked.

It had been almost a year since Jack remade the world, and brought Cas back to him. Dean had talked with Jack since then about why he did it. More importantly, he wanted to thank him. Jack explained that there was no need to thank him because Cas was his dad, and if he was going to do one selfish thing, it was going to be getting his dad out of the Empty. 

“But really,” he’d added, “I have to lump you all together as a unit, my family unit, because you are all my one selfish thing. You and Sam are my dads too. All of you took it upon yourselves to help humanity when Chuck vanished, before that even. You took it upon yourselves to raise and protect me. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

Dean had pulled Jack into a hug, kissed the top of his head, and said, “I love you, Kid. Thank you.”

Cas brought Dean back out of his head when he started to stir then. Cas groggily stretched until he got out of bed.

“Where you going?” Dean asked, voice almost a whisper.

“I need to urinate,” Cas responded in a drowsy daze.

Dean chuckled, and held out his hand in Cas’ direction when he passed. Cas grabbed it and squeezed before letting go and drifting into the bathroom.

Dean rolled back onto his left side, and got his blankets situated around him. It was 5 o’clock in the morning, but they’d had a late movie night last night, and Dean knew neither of them were about to get up at the ass-crack of dawn.

He heard the toilet flush, and then the water running before Cas opened the door and stumbled back to bed. He climbed in, rolled onto his right side so he was facing Dean before getting himself tucked back in.

“Are you all right, Dean?” Cas asked softly.

“I had the dream again,” Dean said nonchalantly.

“Do you need to talk about it?” Cas asked plaintively. 

“Nah, I’m good actually,” Dean replied.

“Are you truly good or are you just saying that to avoid talking about it?” Cas looked him directly in the eyes.

“No, I think I’m pretty good. I was listening to you breathe. It helped,” Dean said as he reached out and put his hand on Cas’ chest.

Cas pulled Dean’s hand into his chest with one hand, as close as he could, before placing his other hand over Dean’s and hugging his arm.

“Well, if you’re sure then I am going back to sleep,” Cas said with closed eyes and a sleepy smile.

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“I love you,” Dean murmured.

“I love you too, Dean.”

Dean leaned into Cas to give him a quick peck on his forehead. Then he pressed his forehead to Cas’. Cas leaned into Dean, and snuggled his arm again, rubbing his thumb over Dean’s hand. Dean gazed at Cas, eyes closed, still grinning. He’d fallen back to sleep quickly. Dean could feel Cas’ heartbeat on his arm as he listened to him breathe. Dean smiled at that, and closed his eyes, finally calm. He was sound asleep a few minutes later.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam and Miracle were a few steps behind Dean when they all came across a sleeping Cas. Sam practically bumped into Dean when Dean halted abruptly. Miracle stopped at Dean’s side, and studied Cas curiously before letting out a questioning, "woof." Dean, mouth agape, stared in awe at Cas for a moment before calling out to him.

“Cas?” he called softly.

Cas continued to slumber. So, Dean walked carefully over to him, and placed his hand on his shoulder.

“Cas, Buddy?” Dean said as he gave Cas’ shoulder a squeeze.

Cas stirred slowly. When he opened his eyes, they immediately found Dean’s own staring back at him. Cas pulled his feet back from the chair they’d been propped up on.

“Dean?” Cas asked in ecstatic disbelief.

He rose to his feet, and drew Dean into a substantial, all encompassing hug, which Cas was surprised to feel Dean return. When they pulled away, Cas looked at Sam, who opened his arms to Cas, and hugged him tightly. Miracle danced around the three men happily. 

“I can’t believe it! You’re back!” Sam exclaimed.

“Cas is back in town!” he said with a hammy grin.

“Never do that again!” Dean scolded.

“Oh...ok,” Cas said sheepishly before Dean was lugging him into another hug.

Sam eyed the both of them, knowing he needed to give them some time alone.

“Cas, I’m glad you’re back. I’ll let Dean fill you in on everything. Miracle can hang with me tonight. I’m going to go text Eileen, and crash out.” Sam excused himself, followed by Miracle, who was cheerfully wagging his tail with gusto.  
Cas and Dean pulled away from one another just long enough to watch Sam and Miracle walk away, and say their goodnights.

Dean’s eyes went back to Cas once Sam was safely out of the room. Cas stared back with, a wistful grin crossing his face.

“We need to talk, Man,” Dean said, his tone serious.

“Yes,” Cas replied.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Dean said resolutely.

He grabbed Cas by the wrist and turned, leading Cas off toward his room.

“Ok,” Cas quickly called behind him.

The two stayed in close proximity as they walked. Dean pulled Cas through the doorway of his bedroom, letting go of his wrist once they were inside. Then Dean closed the door behind them.

“I’ve been thinking about this since Sammy and I left Hastings,” Dean began. “That was about ten hours ago now. So, I figure we can do this one of two ways,” Dean explained gently, without a trace of anger, or a hint of sadness. “The first, I can just try a thing I’ve been thinking about for a while now. Or the second, we can have a long conversation about...feelings.”

Cas, who was standing in front of Dean’s desk, said, “I’d like you to try the thing you’d like to try, but I think we’re also going to have to have a conversation. So, perhaps some sort of compromise, or maybe both options?”

“Ok then,” Dean said as he closed the distance between him and Cas. He stood in front of Cas, looked him directly in the eyes, and fixed both of his hands on each of Cas’ cheeks, his thumbs and forefingers framing Cas’ ears. He gazed into the deep blue eyes in front of him for a moment. All at once Cas’ face was pleading, apologetic, and tranquil.

Dean kissed him softly at first. When Cas slid his hands around to Dean’s lower back, Dean kissed him harder, with more urgency. He curled his fingers into Cas’ neck, drug them gently through his hair, his tongue exploring Cas’ mouth. Cas tugged him closer, no longer wanting any hint of space between them. He bit and sucked Dean’s bottom lip, wanting to hang off of it forever. 

They stood there, in Dean’s room, for what seemed like a blissful eternity, discovering this newness of one another. Dean’s lips pressed little kisses into Cas’ jaw, his tongue tracing tender circles as his hands kneaded at Cas’ back and neck. Cas kept his eyes closed as he leaned into Dean’s kisses, his hands dropping down to the top of Dean’s ass. Dean let out a tiny moan and Cas smiled. Dean went back to Cas’ lips then, crushing his smile against Cas’. He ran his tongue over Cas’ bottom lip before nibbling it softly. Then he finally said it.

“I love you, Cas,” he whispered dreamily. “I always have.”


	5. Chapter 5

When Dean opened his eyes later on in the morning, he was still forehead to forehead with Cas, but Cas was staring back at him.

“Mornin’ Sunshine,” Dean said with a slanted grin.

“Good morning, Dean,” Cas smiled back.

“What time is it?” Dean pushed himself up onto his elbow and forearm to look at the clock.

“11, I think,” Cas replied.

“Wow, we slept in,” Dean said, leaning over to give Cas a peck on his mouth.

“I wanted to let you sleep. I thought you needed it. Would you like to talk about the dream?” Cas asked quietly.

“Ya know, I think I’m fine,” Dean said mindfully.

“Are you really?” Cas pressed, as he too eased himself up onto his elbow and forearm, now eye to eye with Dean.

Dean’s face became serious as he spoke, “Honestly, no BS. I’m good. I settled myself down for a change. Not that you don’t help. You do. Actually you still did last night too. You were just unconscious.”

Cas tilted his head and shot Dean a quizzical look.

“Well, I wanted to wake you up. That was the needy part of me, the selfish part of me. But I guess the stronger part of me looked at you lying there all peaceful, and I wanted to let you stay that way. I still put my hand on you to make sure you were real and breathing. God, I never want to lose you again,” Dean let out a heavy sigh.

Cas reached over and squeezed Dean’s hand.

“My hand was on you, and I could feel your heart beating. So, I left it there and listened to you breathe, and it gave me something to focus on, ya know? Then I started to breathe with you. After that, I laid there remembering the night you came back. I remembered kissing you, and just finally feeling like I was home.” Dean smiled warmly at Cas, and Cas could see the love in those sparkling green eyes.

“And you know the rest. You got up to pee. Quizzed me, and fell asleep, looking as cute as a button,” Dean grinned and booped Cas on the nose.

Cas smiled, turned red, and turned away, seeming suddenly shy.

“What? You don’t think you’re cute?” Dean asked in earnest.

Cas shook his head, and took a deep breath. “It’s not that. It’s just that on occasion, this feeling overcomes me, and I can’t believe this is real. We’re real. It never seemed like something I could dare dream about before, and yet, here we are, and I get to touch you whenever I want. I get to have sexual relations with you. I get to tell you I love you. It’s all so overwhelming sometimes, being human.”


	6. Chapter 6

“I love you too, Dean,” Cas had said.

Dean took a step back from Cas, pulling his hands from Cas’ face, and tilting his head away from him.

“I know. I mean that’s not something a guy forgets easily after seeing The Blob swipe his best friend,” Dean told him sardonically, looking him straight in the eyes.

“Dean, I-”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything, Man?” Dean asked incredulously, running his fingers through his hair.

“This would be the feelings portion of our discourse, yes?” Cas queried.

“Ya, I guess so, yes,” Dean replied.

“Let’s sit,” Cas gestured over to the retro, jade leather sofa.

“Ya, ok,” Dean said as he stepped over to the sofa and sat down.

Cas followed suit.

“In the beginning, feelings were new to me. I didn’t know what I was feeling, not really. I certainly didn’t understand it. Later on, I was never sure if you felt the same, and the fear of rejection or alienating you kept me from saying anything. I didn’t want to lose your friendship. After my deal with the Empty- Well, I couldn’t say anything on the off chance that you’d reciprocate. So, I contented myself with just being near you,” Cas explained.

“Looking back, I think I’ve always known, ever since Perdition,” Cas continued. “Most angels never get to feel the rawness of a soul, in the state yours was, when it has to be repaired. They can’t understand the purity. I couldn’t explain it then, but I knew every inch of your soul. I could feel it. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. There was something so powerful about it. Just as I branded you with my handprint, you left a mark on my soul.” Dean swallowed hard as Cas spoke.

“Getting to know you over these many years together has added another layer, and I started to long for you, not yet realizing that I was in love with you. By the time I had surmised my feelings for you, I didn’t believe you felt the same. It was only after I made the deal with Empty to save Jack, that I really started to wonder if you loved me in return. But not wanting to give you up, I could never tell you the truth. It became an impossible situation,” Cas finished.

Cas looked at Dean through tearful eyes, and a heavy realization came over him. The same feelings Dean must have felt the day the Empty came, started to wash over him. Dean, who had every right to be angry with him, grabbed Cas’ hand. Cas could see the tears behind his eyes too, and a tremble in his lips. Dean took a deep breath before he spoke.

“I- I think I get that. I’ve never, uh, never been good with my feelings, and you scared the Hell out of me at first, Man. I was, I was in awe of you. You were my savior at the start, then my best friend, then my brother, and uh, by the time I got around to accepting how I felt, I thought, Dude’s an angel, no way does he feel the same, but you did. You- did feel the same. But then you said it...and you died. You died, Cas. To save me. I’m not great with my um, feelings in the first place, but that’s a damn lot to process,” Dean responded.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I would have given anything for you not to find that out under those circumstances, but it was the only thing I could do to save you.” Cas tilted his head down, and looked up at Dean, a hollow half grin subtly creeping across his face.

Dean brightened then before saying, “So, let me get this straight. As usual, we were both a couple of dumb asses.” He beamed and started to chuckle.

Cas looked up, hearing Dean, then he chuckled too.

"I prefer the term oblivious. Less dumb, less ass."

“Well, at least we were oblivious together,” Dean said, as they continued to laugh with one another.

“I can’t think of anyone I’d rather go through the spectacle of being a human with,” Cas exclaimed.

“Ya, it’s a real circus. With elephants, trapeze artists, fire-eaters, the whole nine-” Dean said when a sudden look of comprehension gripped his face. “Wait. Cas, are you human?”


	7. Chapter 7

“Sometimes, I forget what it must be like for you to be human. I mean, I’ve always been one even when I was a demon. And look, man, for what it’s worth, you’re one of the best damn humans I’ve ever known.” Dean offered.

“Yes, and thankfully you’re no longer a demon. That’s a period of life I’d rather not be reminded of,” Cas remarked.

“So, the black eyes didn’t do it for you?” Dean shot.

“Dean-”

“What if I’m an angel in the kitchen, and a demon in the sack?” Dean asked wryly, raising his eyebrows flirtingly.  
Cas rolled his eyes.

“Huh? See what I did there?” Dean said, grinning like a giant doof. 

Sometimes Cas couldn’t believe this was the human he fell for. His human.

“Listen Cas, not for nothing, but I don’t know where I’d be without you,” Dean said reassuringly. “As for the feelings, you can eat ‘em, drink ‘em to death, or shove ‘em down far enough to forget you have ‘em. And if none of those things work, there’s always sex,” Dean said with a wink.

“Or we could talk about them,” Cas said pointedly.

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” he grumbled.

“It’s a good thing I’d rather copulate with you right now,” Cas smiled with a shit-eating grin.

“Jesus Cas, just say you wanna fuck. God,” Dean fussed, and threw himself back on the bed, his palm to his forehead.

“All right,” Cas conceded.

Cas scooted himself over to Dean, draped himself over Dean’s upper body, and started nuzzling his neck. Dean moaned agreeably.

“Dean, I want to fuck you,” Cas said in a deep and filthy voice, pressing his tongue hard into Dean’s neck before sucking.

“O- K,” Dean whimpered.

“So, you want me to fuck you?” Cas whispered dirtily into Dean’s ear before nibbling the lobe.

“Ye- Yeah,” Dean peeped.

Cas slipped a hand under Dean’s t-shirt. He kneaded at his pecs, and pinched his nipples. He traced a line from the hills of Dean’s chest through the valleys of his ribs, down to his stomach and over each jutting hip bone. Cas suddenly pulled back from Dean then. 

“Are you sure you want to do this right now? Because I can stop if you’re not up for it,” Cas said, feigning seriousness.

“Oh, I’m up!” Dean huffed.

He wrapped his arms around Cas and rolled him over onto his back. Dean straddled him, and sat up to yank his t-shirt off. Cas watched as a flash of blue got swept up with Dean’s shirt, before it dropped down to the middle of his chest, and Dean whipped his t-shirt to the floor. A vial of gleaming blue fluorescence dangled from a black cord around his neck. 

“Oh, I better be careful with this,” Dean said, covering the vial with his palm. “We don’t need another Chernobyl in Kansas,” he quipped.

The vial was a clear quartz crystal with neon blue light inside. It was about the size of his pinky finger. Dean pulled the vial to his lips and kissed it before letting it fall in the cleft between his pecs.

“Chernobyl? Wasn’t that a nuclear meltdown?” Cas asked.

“10-4, Good Buddy,” Dean confirmed, as he bent over to Cas’ neck to return the favor.

“You’re saying releasing my grace would trigger a nuclear meltdown?” Cas, perplexed, scrunched his eyebrows together, and squinted up at the ceiling as Dean licked circles into his Adam’s apple.

Dean pulled his face over Cas’.

“It’s a figure of speech Cas. C’mon, you’re killing the mood,” Dean scoffed in jest.

“Hmmm. Human colloquialisms can be a hard concept to understand,” Cas said thoughtfully. “As for you…”

Cas reached down and cupped Dean’s cock.

“You’re just hard,” Cas smiled.

Dean groaned, and fell back over Cas’ neck. Cas smiled.

“I don’t think I killed the mood at all. I think you were being untruthful,” Cas teased.

“And I think you talk too much,” Dean said before pressing his lips to Cas’.

Dean bore down and planted a burning kiss on Cas’ lips, his tongue darting between them. When Cas mercifully opened to him, two tongues wrestled each other achingly, licked at lips, pink and plump from heavily making out. Lips smashed together until they quivered, begging for more. Cas’ hands slipped down over Dean’s ass, gripping it tightly. Dean groaned in pleasure again as he thrust into Cas’ hips.

“I think we need to take more of our clothing off,” Cas said breathlessly.

“Good call,” Dean said as he rocked back, pulling Cas up into a sitting position.

Dean’s hands were beneath Cas’ t-shirt faster than he could say Zeppelin. He tugged it off, and tossed it to the floor in one fluid motion. Then he bit Cas’ shoulder and left a trail of wet kisses along his collar bone. Cas dug his nails into Dean’s back, making him let out a low squeal, as he thrust into Cas’ stomach.

“Still...too many...clothes,” Cas managed to get out between hot kisses.

He kissed Dean hard while he pushed Dean’s shoulders back, and scooted him off his lap. Dean backed up, taking Cas’ mouth with him as he moved into a kneeling position on the bed. He drew Cas up with him and tugged him close, slipping his hands down the back of Cas’ fleece pajama bottoms to cup his ass. As though they were of one mind, Cas’ hands copied the motions of Dean’s, all the while sucking and licking hotly at each other’s mouths. 

Dean was the first to get Cas’ pants off. He tugged them down over Cas’ hips before bringing his hands back to rub over the smooth ass muscle and down to the backs of Cas’ thighs. Dean stopped kissing him then, looking at him wolfishly. He clutched Cas’ shoulders and drove him back down on the bed. Cas kicked at his pant legs while Dean tugged them off. He stopped to take in all of Cas’ glory; his muscular, tan legs, his hard cock standing toward Heaven, his taut abdomen, his hips jutting sexily, his thick pecs and strong arms, and finally his devastatingly handsome face.

“You’re gorgeous,” Dean said.

He wrapped his fingers around Cas’ warm cock and began to tug slowly. Cas whimpered and pulled Dean over his upper body. Dean continued to pull at Cas’ cock, slowly, steadily. Cas ran his fingers up and down Dean’s back. Then his hands found their way back down to his ass. He kneaded it firmly, and worked it like Dean was the clay for a resplendent sculpture. He dragged Dean’s flannel pajama bottoms down over his hips and ass.

“This pair of pajama bottoms seems to be the last piece of the clothing puzzle,” Cas purred. 

He let go of Cas, and rocked back onto his knees. Dean’s cock pointed directly at Cas, as he shimmied his pants down his legs, dropping them down to the floor. He arranged his body to match over the length of Cas’. He drew in toward Cas’ mouth to plant a kiss onto his lips. He loved the feel of Cas’ stubble against his own. He thrusted into Cas’ hips. Cas thrashed his hips up to Dean, erect cocks sliding together, back and forth. Cas clutched Dean’s ass and pulled him down harder, crushing their erections together, grinding mercilessly into each other.

Dean pulled away from Cas’ mouth for just a second to ask, “This ok?”

“More than ok, Dean,” Cas said through a grin, pulling Dean by the neck, back down to his lips, once again rolling his hips up to Dean’s.

“I want you so bad, Cas,” Dean said breathlessly.

“I’m yours,” Cas murmured.

They stayed that way, grinding against each other, working each other into a slick frenzy. Dean hitched Cas’ leg over his hip. Cas tickled his fingers down to the small of Dean’s back and grabbed at his hips, pressing him tighter against his writhing cock. His hand trailed the muscle back up to Dean’s shoulders, then hugged Dean tight as they ground into one another. Dean found the sweet spot on Cas’ neck, using his tongue to trace firm infinity symbols, sucking and kissing at it wildly, wanting to leave his mark on Cas. He was Dean’s.

“Dean-I”

“I want you to come, Cas.”

Cas bucked wildly beneath Dean and he knew he was close. So, he slipped a hand under Cas’ ass to pull him tighter, as he let his head fall into Cas’ neck. Cas obliged by grabbing both of Dean’s ass cheeks and clamping him down, both of them rocking, and holding on for dear life.

“Dean, I’m almost there.”

“Me too,” Dean barely managed to get out.

Cas came first in hot pulses, warmth spreading to Dean’s stomach. As he tensed, and curled into Dean, Dean drove his cock down hard against Cas, working him through it, and helping himself along in the process.

He pulled his head back to watch the look that came across Cas’ face when he came. So damn gorgeous. So damn hot. And that was enough to make Dean come just then. Cas sensed him tensing. He splayed his hands over Dean’s ass, gripping tightly as Dean raised and thrusted, his body planked over Cas, giving way to a powerful orgasm.

“Damn, Cas,” Dean gasped fervently.

Cas felt the fiery heat of Dean’s come on his cock as they rocked together gently, chasing every ounce of orgasm they had until their movements became languid before stopping altogether.

Dean laid there on top of Cas, his nose against the hickey he created on Cas’ neck. Cas closed his eyes, and pressed his cheek into Dean’s sweaty hair, a smile crossing his face. He was thrumming with pleasure. He loved the weight of Dean over him. He loved Dean’s smell. Most of all, he loved how they were chest to chest, and he could feel both of their heartbeats pumping together as though they were one.


	8. Chapter 8

Cas put his hand into his shirt, and felt around for something. Dean watched and waited, as Cas pulled a long black cord away from his chest, from beneath his shirt, his hand clutching something at the end of it. He tilted his head down, and pulled the black cord over it. He held his hand out to Dean.

“This is my grace, Dean,” he said.

When Cas opened his hand, Dean saw what looked like a piece of clear crystal quartz with a gleaming, neon blue light inside.

“Cas? How did- What happened? So, you’re-” Dean garbled, thunderstruck.

“I’m human. Jack asked me what I preferred, and this was my choice. I want to grow old with you, Dean...if you’ll have me,” Cas spoke softly.

Dean gaped, eyes wide, and for a moment Cas thought he might yell, or tell him to leave, or punch him even, but then, his gaze softened. He swallowed hard, and covered Cas’ grace, his own hand resting gently atop Cas’. 

“Cas, I- I honestly don’t know what to say,” Dean started.

“You can’t feel the same way for me if I’m human?” Cas interrupted.

“No, Cas. I-” Dean tried again.

“Dean, it’s ok, you don’t have to explain. Growing old together implies a lifetime commitment- It’s ok if that’s not what you want” Cas offered, looking down, crestfallen.

“Dammit, Cas. You really are a dumbass sometimes,” Dean said, a smile spreading over his lips. “It’s you. You’re it for me. I don’t care if you’re an angel, a demon, a human, or Hell, an outlaw. I just want you,” Dean insisted, tightening his grip over Cas’ hand, as it held his grace.

“How could you think that I can just turn my feelings off and on like that?” Dean asked, incredulously. “I just kissed you. I told you I love you. I fully intend on fucking you silly here at some point.” Dean grinned at that.

“I just want you. But I want to make sure this is what you really want.” Dean lifted his eyebrows, and looked Cas in the eyes. “Is this what you really want?” 

Dean thumbed over Cas’ grace.

“It’s your grace, man. Are you sure you don’t want to hold onto that?” Dean asked.

“I want you to hold onto it,” Cas said. “It seems strange to plan out a trip to Heaven, as though it’s a vacation, but I want to go there with you when it’s time, and I want you to keep my grace with you until then. We’ll make the rest up as we go.”

Dean gazed at Cas for a moment, taking in the weight of his words.

“Dean, are you sure you’ll still want me if I’m no longer an angel?” Cas’ voice was low and soft, but still matter of fact. There was an added ache to it. He looked away from Dean shyly.

Dean looked at Cas, his features softening. What in the Hell was he thinking? Dean wondered. He realized they had both been idiots about their feelings for at least a decade, but Cas seemed even more gunshy. Dean couldn’t help but think it was all his fault. He’d pushed Cas away so many times. He’d been so angry too often. He’d said countless things he’d never meant. He’d been cruel and hateful, and dammit, he was so sorry. All he wanted to do now was convince Cas how wanted and loved he is. And he wanted to make it up to Cas for the rest of their lives. 

“Cas? C’mere.” 

Dean pulled Cas into a huge hug, their cheeks pressed into the other’s necks. He held Cas until he relaxed his arms around Dean. Neither realizing it, they started to sway, ever so slightly. They stayed that way for a while, drifting, warm and content. Dean rubbed Cas’ back, trying to soothe him, trying to infuse his feelings for Cas into Cas. He wanted Cas to understand, to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that Dean loves him, Dean’s in love with him. He’s Dean’s person, he’s Dean’s heart, his soul, he’s Dean’s everything. Cas is Dean’s home. Dean drank him in. His smell. His form. His heft. His skin. His heat. His heartbeat. It was so easy to get lost in him, swept away. When Dean felt like Cas had let the worry drain from him, he stepped back from their hug, sliding his hands down into Cas’.

“You know what? It’s never been about you being an angel or a human. It’s only ever been about you being you. You’re my Cas. Not Cas, the angel, or Cas, who changed his name to Steve, and worked at the Gas ‘N’ Sip, although you were pretty cute then.” Dean gave a lopsided smirk, and Cas grinned and blushed. “Don’t you get it by now, Man? I’ll take you any way I can get you. I love you, Cas. You're kinda the love of my life.”

Dean slipped his hand up to Cas’ jaw, and turned his face so they were looking into one another’s eyes. Dean searched the depths of Cas’ ocean blue eyes from the mossy green islands of his own. He thought he could see a twinkle of hope there, a flicker of knowing, the spark of promise. A dreamy smile crossed Dean’s face.

“Do you get it now?” Dean murmured.

A quiet smile slowly curled itself up on Cas’ lips.

“I do, Dean.”

Dean leaned his smile into Cas’ and kissed him softly, velvety lips pressing gently into one another. Dean pulled away unhurriedly, eyes closed and smiling. He languidly serried tender kisses along Cas’ jawline, over his cheek bone, up to his forehead, lingering there as he tangled his fingers in Cas’ hair, holding him close. 

And Cas- Cas, who never dreamed it was possible that Dean could love him back, Cas, who anguished over wishing for it, Cas, who never dared to utter his love for Dean for fear of losing him all together, Cas, once angel of the Lord, Cas, now newly human, Cas, who is hopelessly, helplessly, head over heels in love with Dean Winchester, Cas, who is the love of Dean Winchester’s life, that Cas, he soaked it up.


	9. Chapter 9

Cas and Dean laid in their bed, naked, and tangled up in each other, sheets and blankets strewn across the floor. Dean was nestled into Cas, his head resting on Cas’ chest, his fingers grazing the fine hairs there. Cas curled an arm around Dean, his fingers entwined in Dean’s chestnut hair. Dean was pressed up tightly against Cas with his leg hooked over Cas’ hips, his toes nuzzled behind Cas’ knee. Dean listened to him breathe, tuning his own breaths to the rhythm of Cas’. He didn’t know when it happened, but at some point, Dean stopped wondering where he began and Cas ended, feeling so close that they were one. 

The two of them had come a long way together in twelve years. Thinking back, both men agreed that it was love at first sight, although neither of them knew what to do with their feelings at the time. Things were easier now. Both of them finally letting one another in on their love for each other had triggered a healing process in both of them. The bad parts of their collective past would never disappear, but the good parts of their collective present and their foreseeable future helped to alleviate its pain. They had finally found a place to rest. 

It went without saying that having someone to walk through the big blue world with, meant everything to each of them, although they would never stop saying it. They were each other’s partner in crime, each other’s wing man, each other’s best friend, each other’s brother in arms, each other’s twin flame, each other first love, each other’s soulmate.

They’d talked a little about what they wanted to do with this life, but beyond spending it together, neither of them were particular to doing anything specific. Monster cases still came up, and they still worked them, although they were a lot less now, as Jack had said they would be. It was strange to think that even in the monster and demon worlds, things were more balanced as well. So, sure, there was still bad, but it was more manageable all around. 

Cas was always a great weapon as an angel, but he’d turned into an awesome hunter, and Dean loved working with him. They’d both noticed that together they moved as one fluid unit. Where one was stumbling, the other was there to catch the fall. It felt pretty great, even on the days without Sammy, to know the guy he was fighting side by side with had his back no matter what. Dean was that for Cas too.

Dean used to like the idea of retiring all together, but if he was being honest, he also enjoyed taking out a vamp nest from time to time, or laying ghost souls to rest, or exorcising a demon every now and then. It was satisfying to know they were still saving people by hunting things, thank Jack it was far less these days. So, Dean looked at it more like a part time job where he could make his own hours now. 

He loved watching Sammy in his element too. He kind of became the head authority on all things supernatural. And let’s be real, Dean knew he loved it, and as much as Sam insisted, “I don’t know if I’d go that far, Dean,” Dean knew that was just lip service. Sam loved his books. He loved being the guy that knew where to find whatever lore they were looking for. He loved figuring out and planning hunting assignments. But most of all, he loved taking care of his group of humans.

The bunker had become a safe place to land for any hunter. They were always welcome to stay as long as they wanted, and to come and go as they pleased, as long as they did a daily check in. Nowadays, the bunker was always a bustling hub. Claire and Alex were frequent visitors. So, were Charlie and Stevie, and Bobby. Donna and Jody visited when they could too. Hell, they even saw Rowena and Ketch every couple of months. She’d done a spell to bring Arthur back from the dead, since he’d already been in Hell anyway, and they’d been happily dating these many months. Krissy had been spending a lot of time with Jack when they were both around. Dean had actually described it to Cas as cute. And Jack...Well, he was just busy being a kid, taking in everything he learned like a sponge.

Sammy and Eileen had been busy. Eileen was about 8 months pregnant, and they were both over the moon with excitement, as was Dean, who secretly loves babies, although this was no secret to Cas.

Dean laid there with Cas, just being grateful for their lives and their life together. He was grateful for their found family. He was grateful for Sam and Eileen and Baby Winchester. He was grateful he didn’t have to shoulder the burden of everything anymore. Having a bunch of trusted friends and family was so much better than just him and Sam having to depend on only each other for everything. Plus, more people around meant more brains to puzzle stuff out when something big happened. Not that he didn’t love Sammy. He still worried, but that’s when it was nice to have Cas by his side to reign him in and give him perspective. 

Dean sighed into Cas and planted a small kiss on his chest.

“As much as I’d love to lay in bed with you all day, my stomach disagrees. Wanna go make breakfast or, er, lunch with me? Oooh I know! Breakfast for lunch...with bacon?”

Against Cas’ chest, he could feel Dean’s doofy grin sprawl across his face at his own idea. 

“I can think of nothing I’d like better, as long as we’re together,” Cas answered, smiling into Dean.

“Good. Should we get dressed then?” Dean asked, pulling himself up to look at Cas.

“Unless you think the bunker residents would prefer to see us cook in the nude?” Cas smirked.

“I know I would love to watch you do some naked cooking, but I think we would break Sam and Eileen. And I don’t even want to think about the girls or Jack,” Dean chortled as he pinched Cas’ nipple.

Cas let out a yelp, and curled his body into Dean, both of them laughing.

“You can be such a dick sometimes,” Cas said playfully.

“I know. Good thing you like dick though.” 

Dean gave Cas a shit-eating grin.

“Come on, Sunshine. Let’s go get you something to eat,” Dean said.

He slapped Cas on the ass playfully and sat up on the side of the bed. Cas hung himself over Dean’s shoulders, and began kissing his neck. Dean smiled sweetly, reaching up to grab Cas’ arm with his hand.

“You’re not helping the matter,” he said.

“Maybe I don’t want to help the matter,” Cas protested.

Just then Dean’s stomach grumbled, and Cas knew he’d been beaten.


	10. Chapter 10

A pajama clad Cas and Dean strolled into the kitchen around noon only to find Jack and Claire drinking coffee and chattering about Krissy. Apparently Jack liked her liked her, and was seeking Claire’s advice on his next steps. 

“Just don’t confess your love for her right before the Blob takes you away forever,” Dean cracked, as he sauntered over to the stove.

“Dean!” Cas complained, long suffering.

“Awww, boo!” Jack hissed.

“You’re just gross, Dean,” Claire scolded.

“Gross? What? I was just trying to help,” Dean objected. “I don’t know why you guys are booing me. I was the victim in the scenario.”

Cas stormed over to Dean, who turned away quickly when he saw Cas coming, and smacked him in the ass.

“Hey!” Dean hollered, a smirk on his face. “Who’s being gross in front of the children now?” He chastised.

“Dean, I am God now. I’m hardly a child anymore,” Jack proclaimed, raising his eyebrows as he held his pointer finger into the air.

“No comments from the four year old!” Dean harped. “And besides that, your Auntie Amara is holding down the fort in Heaven right now, while you- what? Are you about to start dating?”

Jack blushed. Claire and Cas cackled. Dean snickered, pleased with himself.

“I could smite you, ya know,” Jack muttered.

“Jack, you know better than that,” Cas smarted. “But Dean, he does have a point,” he said, tilting his head, and raising his eyebrows. 

“Fine, take his side,” Dean mumbled, mimicking Cas’ statement. And then, under his breath, “Giving me the head tilt and the eyes.”

Jack and Claire burst with laughter.

“All right!” Dean roared. “Cook makes the rules, gluttons shut their cakeholes!”

Cas tucked in at the table beside Claire as she and Jack continued to crack up.

“So whaddya brats want?” Dean asked, feigning his snark. “I was thinking breakfast for lunch, sound good?”

“Ya, ya, I’m down,” Claire said.

“Me too,” Jack agreed.

“Ok then,” Dean said as he walked over to the fridge to get out eggs, milk, and bacon. “I’m thinking french toast today. You all good with that?”

“Oooh, can you make berry syrup?” Cas asked, giving Dean twinkly puppy dog eyes.

God, Cas had been living around Sam for so long now, he’d picked up one of Sam’s more annoying quirks. Dean thought it looked especially cute on Cas though. He met Cas’ eyes and beamed.

“Just because you’re you,” Dean answered a grinning Cas.

“OMG, you guys are so cute!” Claire squealed.

Dean rolled his eyes and pointed his spatula at her.

“Hey! What’d I say, Missy?” He snapped.

“I know, I know, shut my cakehole. But honestly, stop being so sickeningly sweet then,” she retorted.

Dean threw up his hands, one holding the spatula, in the air and whined, “I cannot be expected to work under these abysmal conditions.”

Just then, Jack pounded his fists on the table.

“French toast! French toast! French toast!” He chanted, joined by Cas and Claire.

Dean stared at their childish antics for a moment before shaking his head in disbelief. And then he gave in.

“Ok! Ok, ok, ok,” he acquiesced, rolling his eyes and grinning. He pointed his cooking wand, the spatula circling around to each of them. “You’re the worst. The worst!”  
This was met with titters from the table.

“We really are quite intolerable,” Cas offered.

“Good thing I love you mooks,” Dean said cattily, trying not to sound happy about it.

But that was the thing. He really did love them all. And he could finally say those words to them out loud. Anytime. This family had given him that.

“We love you too?” Sam said, walking into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. Eileen trailed alongside him, her huge belly leading the way.

“What kind of a love fest did we just walk into?” Eileen signed as she spoke.

“Everyone’s picking on me!” Dean told her melodramatically while he signed, trying to gain her sympathy.

“No. Really?” She mocked, as she looked toward the three faces around the table, all of them looking guilt stricken.

“Don’t! Do not believe those faces!” Dean pleaded, and signed frantically.

“I think Eileen knows exactly whose face doth protest too much,” Cas overtly expressed as he signed.

“She would totally be on our side if she knew what you said about Cas!” Jack revealed.

“What happened?” Eileen asked, squeezing in beside Cas at the table.

“You shut your porky mouth, Son!” Dean sputtered. “We talked about this. I’m the cook. Why is no one playing by the rules? Sammy! Tell ‘em, will ya?”

Sam ambled over to the coffee maker. He held his hands up to Dean, motioning for him to stop, as he turned away from him, snickering.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m guessing you made your bed. And I’m not awake yet,” Sam blurted.

Claire started explaining things to Eileen, as she signed. They had all been learning ASL. It was beginning to become old hat to them. Claire told Eileen it all started with Dean being a smart ass, and ok, she wasn’t wrong. Then Jack jumped in about how he was God, and they all erupted in laughter once more.

“I can’t with you people anymore!” Dean declared, and turned back to soaking the french toast, and crisping the bacon.

“Sounds like you’ve been being kind of a jerk,” Sam said with a smirk.

“Sounds like something you’d say without having all the facts. I was the victim!” Dean flicked egg mixture at Sam, and then, “Bitch.”

“Gross! Dean! You’re getting Salmonella all over me!” Sam hollered, incredulously.

“Heh,” was all Dean could respond, a shit-eating smile curling onto his lips.

He was incredibly pleased with himself even though Sam kept pelting him with coffee beans.

Before too long, Dean had finished making the french toast, bacon, and special berry syrup for Cas. Jack and Claire had gotten the plates, napkins and silverware out to set the table. Sam and Dean had to get a bigger table for the kitchen since there were so many more of them now. Dammit if that fact didn’t leave Dean’s heart overflowing with joy. Sam brought the coffee pot, and extra mugs over to the table, and made sure Eileen didn’t have to lift a finger. Cas grabbed the orange juice, and strawberry milk for Jack, and some cups. Dean dished everyone’s plates up, then went back to the fridge for butter, maple syrup, and whipped cream. He placed everything in the middle of plates and people gingerly, then stood there for a moment, taking in the sight of them, a double entendre of closeness, gathered around the table, eating the food he’d made for them with care. He never used to imagine having a family of his own as a possibility. Yet, here they were. Sam noticed him in thought, raised his eyebrows, and gave him an “Are you ok?” look. Dean took a deep breath, nodded back at him with a soft grin, and sat down across from Cas, who had also been searching his face inquisitively. He found himself staring back into cerulean eyes. Dean really was ok. His heart was full.

* * * * * * *


End file.
